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passing_of_timeAs you watch the years pass by and your responsibilities grow, you could assume you will gain more happiness, fulfillment and know what you want out of life. When you were a child, you possibly looked at adults thinking they knew who they were, what they wanted and how to get it. So why is it, that now you are in your midlife, the disharmony is rising from within you and you feel more disconnected from that fulfillment than ever?

Midlife can be a tumultuous time. Parents are getting older, relationships strained, children getting more independent and recognising that a lot of the choices you made in the first half of your life haven’t brought you the contentment and results you were hoping for. Sometimes the shock that you can’t control you life in the way you thought you could becomes at the forefront of your awareness. This can be because of loss, unhappiness and change in circumstance that seemed to come out of nowhere.

So what is this about and why do people often report this transition in midlife?

The first half of your life has been built on what you have learned from all that you have observed from your parents and the environment you have grown up in. From that, you have learned coping mechanisms, gained powerful beliefs about what you think you should do with your life and recognise what is expected from you from your family. The choices you make, the relationship you are in, the career you follow will have a direct connection to these lessons. In a nutshell, the life you create is built on what your family, culture and society expect of you. Even if you rebel against these things, your choices are in direct connection these factors.

In your midlife, through a crisis or a rising inner turmoil, it can become clear that something needs to change to bring a deeper feeling of harmony and connection to your Self. People often report an underlying depression which can be from mild to severe, depending on the causes of the transition. To cope with this you might start drinking too much; feel worthless; disconnect from life and lose the joy. The exciting thing about this time, is if you start to listen, instead of trying to run away from your Self, great things can occur.

So how can you revolutionise your midlife?

The first question to ask yourself is ‘What do I want?’. This is a question you possibly have never actually considered fully without the expectations of others coming through. Maybe you want adventure, perhaps you want a deep and meaningful relationship; possibly you crave to start your own business or dedicate your time to being an artist. Until you ask this question you will not know what the missing piece is. And then you need the courage to see it through. To achieve this, you might need to dig around in your soul to understand why you have got to where you have and what limiting beliefs, habits and needs you have acquired along the way. Friends, therapists, groups and workshops all have a fabulous function to help you get to the answers.

What can you expect from this?

It can be a scary, lonely and guilty time to start considering and acting on your needs. But the outcome is exciting because life starts feeling more meaningful, fulfilling and interesting. Instead of going through the motions of life, you can become curious, passionate and fully immersed in creating your life. Dreams and passions from your early years can start re-emerging and brand new opportunities start to show themselves. And with your new found courage, you can start acting on them. You will start realising that the turmoil you are feeling is opening you up to amazing potential.

To find out more come to FEMALE MIDLIFE REVOLUTION: OPEN YOUR MIND TO THE GREAT POTENTIAL THAT MIDLIFE CAN BRING . A one day event that inspires you to know what you want from life and to break through your inner turmoil.

I wish you well

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About the author
Giselle Monbiot is a therapist, inspirational coach, mum of 3, speaker and a writer. And a lover of life!!

 

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