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5 Ways To Reduce Feeling Overwhelmed During Motherhood.

portaitAs a mum of 3 young children, it took me quite a while to realise that the feeling of sometimes being very overwhelmed was a big part of my life. Until I got in control of it, I found it had a huge impact on mine and my family’s life. So learning to accept these moments, to understand what was causing them and how I could reduce them benefited me through the experience. If you are finding that you are feeling overwhelmed some or most of the time I hope the following information helps you return to a calmer place.

Treadmill of chores.

Laundry, cooking, tidying, cleaning, shopping, taxi service. In most households, women still do the majority of household chores. It is a bit like painting the Golden Bridge, where once it is finished it has to start all over again. If you are aiming for perfection in the tidiness of your home or that you think you will get to the end of the list, this can cause a feeling of stress as these are often impossible, especially with children. Bulk cooking, employing a cleaner or just accepting that a perfectly presented home is for a later stage in your life, can help you relax and reduce your workload.

Not enough time for you.

As a mother you are often the target of sorting out the endless needs and demands from your children and partner. Many women put their own needs so low down on the list that they never get to doing what they want to do to give themselves a break. Often mingled with feelings of guilt, you can think that it is benefiting your family by putting your needs to one side. But the truth is the opposite. If you are relaxed, fulfilled and happy, the way you will respond to your family will be calmer and more focused. You will also be showing both sons and daughters that women need time for themselves. If you don’t insist on ‘you’ time, then no one will offer it. Even if it’s just 10 minutes of a Mindfulness meditation, an uninterrupted bath or even going the supermarket alone , can be enough to replenish your energy banks.

Comparing yourself with others.

woman bluredDo all the other mothers you see seem to be coping so much better than you? Does it seem that you are the only one struggling with the challenge? Well I shall tell you a secret. All mothers are struggling in some way. The outside face you put on is often very different to what is going on inside. After many years of seeing clients, I have learned that we are all struggling in our own ways. The difference is some people are better at hiding their struggles than others. It’s one of the most wonderful aspects of my group programmes. The women all realise their struggles are all being experienced by everyone else in some way. A beautiful and powerful shift positively liberates each participant at that moment. So give yourself a break. We never know what others are experiencing in their lives. So don’t make your life harder. By knowing all women are connected by what they experience and their challenges, creates a bond and compassion; rather than isolating and adding to the difficulties you might be living.

Enough sleep?

babyAre you getting enough sleep and rest? I had never fully appreciated the impact my broken nights over 4 years were having on me, until I sorted out my children’s sleep- not necessarily in the correct beds, but it didn’t matter – because once I was managing to get a full night sleep, life became a much calmer and happier place. When you are sleep deprived, it can make you feel more anxious; less able to cope; more prone to reaching for sugar and caffeine; shorter tempered and more prone to illness. Depression and anxiety can also be caused by sleep deprivation. So even if getting them to sleep through all night isn’t a possibility, please be kind to yourself and get some peace and some shut eye in the day. It can make such a difference.

Other influences?

V-slider5There can be many other things that can create you to feel overwhelmed with life. Hormonal changes in your cycle; relationship and financial issues; lack of outside support as well as other factors. It is important to recognise what can trigger you. So during these times you can start being extra kind to yourself. And if you need extra help from friends or an experienced therapist/coach be aware that asking for help is a sign of strength and nothing to be ashamed of.

Next time I will be explaining a few useful techniques and tools you can bring into your day to help you deal with the daily challenges. Some days I need them more often than others!!

 

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