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  • IS This The Reason That Affects Your Stress And Anxiety Levels?

    IS This The Reason That Affects Your Stress And Anxiety Levels?

    Did you know that a common trait of someone experiencing anxiety is Perfectionism? As Leo Tolstoy wrote so wisely in Anna Karenina ‘If you look for perfection, you’ll never be complete’ . To strive for perfection is a journey that will ultimately result in discontent, frustration and raised stress and anxiety levels. At the same time as reaching for the idea of creating something perfect, something else is going to fall to the way side adding to the stress and anxiety this is already causing. In my opinion, to strive for Good Enough creates a more harmonious, enjoyable and productive life. You can achieve more and be pleased with what you have done.

    Regrettably, many people hear the phrase ‘good enough’ and think of sloppy work and not caring about what you do. In reality, being good enough is far from this. Being good enough means:

    • You know you have done the best you can.
    • What you have worked on has been carried out with your best abilities results with a sense of accomplishment, fulfillment and a calm mind.
    • You’re comfortable knowing the outcome is to achieve high standards. This is often the trait of high performers such as athletes.
    • Knowing mistakes happen from time to time is OK


    However, many people are forever chasing the golden chalice of perfection. Be it with their careers, appearance, relationships or how their homes look, this chasing for perfection is all consuming.

    • Perfectionists are driven by an overwhelming need to not make any mistakes.
    • They can set standards so high that they are almost impossible to reach.
    • To make a mistake makes them feel like a failure and disappointed in themselves.
    • The outcome to the activity determines how they respond to themselves.


    When you are driven by the fear of failure, it can stop you from trying new things.  Mistakes are instrumental to learning and growing. Stress and anxiety can increase and enjoyment disappears from these activities.

    Interestingly,  as life circumstances changes the impact of the Perfectionism can get worse. An example, is when a woman becomes a mother. Before having children, time can be spent on a tidy home, whilst following a career and focusing n what that entails. However, once a child comes into their lives, to achieve these goals, whilst remaining emotionally balanced is impossible. The intensity of pressure they are having to put on themselves along with the many possible outcomes of making a mistake can topple them over the edge.

    As a consequence of this, if you are realising that you are struggling with perfectionism, then please give yourself a break. Tackling life from the concept of achieving high standards, as opposed to fearing making a mistake, is a much healthier and calmer place for you to be. Making a mistake is OK and it often the time we learn the most. To make a choice from high standards, enables the final decision to be made more decisively. This gives you more time to focus on the high standards you are creating. You will be amazed at how feelings of stress and anxiety reduce and life becomes more fun for everyone.

    If these words have resonated with you, download my  free’Increase your confidence’ mini series. When your self confidence increases the fear of failure starts to decrease. You will naturally know you are good enough.

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  • Posted by Sherry Bevan on December 15, 2016, 10:47 pm

    Interesting post. I consider myself to be a reformed perfectionist in that I now accept that good enough is good enough. However I’ll never lose my high attention to detail.

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